disturbing behaviour..

O Allah..

things are just too complicated to be put into words. what is it that depress me to the fullest? is it money? is it insufficient play time? or is it love from people around me?

Subhanallah. Alhamdulillah. Allahuakbar.

None of that really bug me at the moment. as far as i'm concern, good fortune come only from Allah and only by Allah's creed.

time?

i don't take heed of how much time i have but to what deeds that I make use of my time.

love?

Allah's love is eternal. i'm happy to know that. if I remember Him, He will remember me. if I walk to Him, He will run to me. He's The Most Gracious and The Most Merciful. what more would I ask from Him? much less from other human being, His creation, more or less flawed, just like me, and weak, and not capable of promising me anything.

then, what is it that disturb my heart and soul?


I want the heaven He promised for the believers but i'm not acting like one. I want the blessings He promised those who' always in rememberance of Him but i'm way over my head thinking other things. I fancy world more than rememberance of Him.

I try to not fear death but treat it as my closest friend, so I will always be in the state of fixing myself, to become His loyal servant.

not a servant to any human.
not a servant to facebook.
not a servant to manga.
not a servant to materials.
not a servant to women/lust/al-hawa.

i'm His and only His.