DOGMA DISCO

menjengah tahun 2012

2012-01-22T10:45:00.003Z

bismillahhirrahmanirrahim.

dengan nama Allah aku memulakan penulisan pertama buat tahun 2012.

rasanya tiap2 tahun kita akan ada semangat baru yang datang entah dari mana, untuk membuat azam baru (walaupun tak pernah2 tercapai), dan berangan2 apa yang akan kita buat untuk menjayakan azam tu serta apa outcome at the end of the year.

angan2 kosong bro...

*slap on the forehead* memang lepas dua tiga hari menjengah ke tahun baru semangat tu akan pudar. azam ke mana, kerja aku ke mana, semangat ke laut (bukan jadi nelayan ye, cuma hilang..) sanggup ke aku biar cycle yang berulang ni terus jadi. neverrrrr. everrrr....haish.

ni housemate2 aku. biasa je. diorang manusia..

****

aku tak tahu nak mula dari mana. terlalu banyak benda yang jadi sepanjang 7 8 bulan ni.

terlalu sikit pula bank kosakata aku untuk express semua nya dalam kata2 yang mudah tapi berfalsafah. well, show-off edo~

aku pandai berfalSAMPAH je. tapi tu dah ukup untuk kepuasan diri :D

''hidup ni mudah, follow je al-quran dan as-sunnah''

ok tak ayat aku buat ni? jangan segan2 copy&paste. jangan segan praktikkan atau ajak orang beramal sama-sama.

***

serabut#1

ramai orang compliment aku untuk perkara yang aku tak layak pun. ada yang impressed konon aku dah berubah lebih baik. ada yang jadikan aku reference untuk perkara2 islamik, minta pendapat. pergh..memang jauh lagi aku untuk jadi seorang alim yg mampu penuhi semua tu.

ada yg suarakan amazament konon aku istiqamah di jalan yang aku tempuh. erk!? aku cuma individu biasa, tak ada makam tinggi di mana2. aku mahu 'pelempang ke muka' or 'slap in the face' supaya aku betul2 sedar sebab aku sekarang ni masih terasa main2, selalu terasa lemah2 dan malas. aku masih tak punya X-factor yg boleh aku sumbangkan pada komuniti dan ummah.

jahiliyah can be very debilitating especially when you've had it for life. or feel's like a part of our life. nauzubillah. fight it with all our might. we can lose a fight or two or three or many but we cannot lose the WAR.

eh. melalut.

my bad. i'm looking or polishing one, a skill that is.

Aku nak cuba

2011-11-07T23:10:00.001Z

Buat video bisu kehidupan kita2..

Ambil gambar dunia yg seolah kosong dan kelam tapi penuh harapan

FIGHT CLUB

2011-10-15T08:04:00.002+01:00

we are a generation without weight in history

no purpose or place

we do not have a world war

we have no great depression
our war is spiritual

our depression is our lives

we are created through the tv to believe that one day we would be millionaires, movie stars and rock stars

...but WE ARE NOT!

...then who are we?

we weigh ourselves with divine scale

we have purpose and aim
there is two places waiting for us

HEAVEN
or
HELL

we are something. we are not miniscule.

A piece

2011-10-09T19:11:00.001+01:00

Jesse is wrong ~ I didn't come to see Kate because it would make me feel better. I came because without her, it's hard to remember who I am.

-Jodi Picoult, 'My Sister's Keeper'

live in this world like a wayfarer, one of the thing we do is gain knowledge. make it blessed by Allah....

2011-10-02T21:12:00.001+01:00

Allahumma infa'nii bimaa alamtani wa'allimni maa yanfaa'ooni

Oh Allah benefit me with what you have taught me and teach me that which will benefit me.

Allahumma la'sahla ilma ja'altahu sahla wa'anta taj alu al'hazna idha shi'ta sala

Oh Allah, nothing is easy except what you have made easy and only you can make the difficult easy for me.

Rabbi zidni ilman
My Lord, increase me in knowledge.

Allahumma inni asaluka ilmun nafia
O Allah, I ask of you knowledge which is beneficial.

Rabbishrahli sadri wayassirli amri wahlul ukdatun milisaani yafkahoo kowli
My Lord expand my chest and make easy my affair and remove the impediment from my speech in order that they may understand what I say.

Hasbi allahu la ilaaha illala huwwa. Alayhi tawakaltu wa huwwa rabbul arshil adheem
Allah is sufficient for me, none has the right to be worshipped but He. In him I put my trust and he is the Lord of the Mighty Throne.

kapasiti diri

2011-10-02T10:47:00.002+01:00

cakap memang senang, tapi bila masuk part melaksanakan sangat susah.

tapi Allah dah kata;

Allah does not burden a soul beyond its capacity.
-al Baqarah 2:386-

jadi kenapa acap kali kita gagal meninggalkan sikap buruk, menahan marah, berkata-kata baik, menjaga solat,diri, kemaluan, kesopanan dan amal2 harian kita?

reflect balik apa kita dah buat bermula dari pagi hari.

nauzubillah, apa aku mau jawab bila Allah tanya macam mana aku spend masa lapang dan nikmat2 yg Dia bagi?

i'm here. surely.

2011-09-12T12:17:00.001+01:00

i'm starting anew in the hospital today. met few of the old friends from scotland, hey hey, they dont really change much eh?

I'm searching for home, in metaphorical sense

2011-08-14T11:17:00.000+01:00

we know our enemy, but we submit to it.

we rely on others too much, because we tend to turn our eyes away from the problem.

we are blind with our eyes wide open.

having a hard time

2011-08-12T13:22:00.001+01:00

Study - never my forte so I can't say much.Imaan - as low as it getsBut not giving up on my fight against my nafsFriend - those monotonous voice ain't helping. That sad face only pains me. Is that defeat or guilt?

Golden Advice !

2011-08-07T12:49:00.001+01:00

2011-08-07T12:42:00.000+01:00

WORK HARD LIKE ANTS

BUT I'M JUST ONE PERSON

2 ramadhan#

2011-08-02T20:29:00.002+01:00

Bismillah.

Lailatul Qadr khairun min alfi shahr.
Malam special bagi Rasulullah adalah israk mikraj.
Malam special bagi umat Islam adalah lailatul Qadr.

Betulkan niat kita, priority kita masa ramadhan, then kita dapat adjust priority dalam kehidupan kita di masa lain.

Kembalikan cara para salaf, aulawiyat pada mereka 'man qama lailatul qadr' then 'man qama ramadhan' followed by 'man saumi ramadhan'.

Hidupkan ramadhan dengan tazkirah, Imanan wahtisaban..kita cuba lalui ramadhan dengan keilhlasan, berhubung dgn Allah sentiasa mengingatkan diri puasanya kerana-Nya sepanjang hari, dari terbit fajar hingga terbenam matahari.

Concept.Create.Dreamer

2011-08-02T15:55:00.000+01:00

The Sound Of Arrows - Magic

1 Ramadhan #

2011-08-01T20:04:00.004+01:00

Mount Roraima

ada sorang sahabat yg selalu mengetuk jiwa ni kerana kelantihan dia mentadabbur benda2 kecil (kita selalu rasa remeh) walhal bila di beri kontem[plasi yg mendalam sebenarnya menghasilkan rasa kagum kita pada Yang Maha Pencipta, Allah.

dengan kuasa Allah mount roraima di brazil ni naik cantik, sepertimana berbagai2 lagi ciptaan Allah yg ada keunikannya sendiri.

subahanallah al azim

subhanallah wa bihamdih

****

potongan khutbah menjelang ramadhan Rasulullah s.a.w

Wahai manusia! Sesungguhnya pintu-pintu syurga dibukakan bagimu, mohon kepada tuhanmu agar tidak pernah menutupkannya bagimu. Pintu-pintu neraka tertutup, mohon kepada tuhanmu agar ia tidak akan dibukakan bagimu. Syaitan-syaitan dibelenggu, mintalah agar ia tidak lagi menguasai dirimu.

terus membaca di sini : http://hidupbiarbest.blogspot.com/2011/08/khutbah-rasulullah-menjelang-ramadhan.html#ixzz1To13unTL

****

moga hari2 kita dipenuhi ibadah dan zikir kepada Allah. amiin.

First special post ;) no buzzwords and blarney, not setting the world alight, just norm.

2011-07-18T14:53:00.002+01:00

held back by respect and fear

2011-07-17T14:57:00.002+01:00

..yes. fear of setting up bad example. if no one can act maturely then I will. it appear that some problems remain.

I made a silent vow with myself, I will not post any more of contempt I got involved in my daily routine. blogging is like talking. you write something unnecessary, you pay for it, creadit or cash. in this life or in the afterlife.

So...?

This time, just a simple note to myself, about making the best out of everything, insyaAllah.

Travelling; taking trains or buses or walking from a place to another. I did lots of this, so I think. How to make it worthy? Snap some pics, record some vids, then caption it with the most prominent and unusual thing about it. this is just an advice to my unheeding self. from time to time I have thought about things but I tend to forget them as time flies.

Again, take heed o deariee me!

amicable life spice

2011-07-16T10:46:00.002+01:00

amicable; (of relations between people) having a spirit of friendliness; without serious disagreement or rancor.

****

I wish all the long faces and smirks, the uninvited killjoy thoughts accompanied by indefinite awkward silences will be neutralised by a good ending, by coming to an amicable conclusion after a destitude and unemotional discussion.

I'm tired, honestly.

So many things I left out and so many unwanted ghosts of the past catching me up, leaving my spirit very vulnerable to irksome chit-chat, posts, foul language and ungainly atmosphere...my word, I hate those who entangled me in such mess.

Don't they have anything better to do?

Something to share and please read it carefully

2011-07-13T11:08:00.001+01:00

This is a powerful message in our modern society. We seemed to have lost our bearing & our sense of direction.

One young academically excellent person went to apply for a managerial position in a big company.

He passed the first interview, the director did the last interview, made the last decision.

The director discovered from the CV that the youth's academic achievements were excellent all the way, from the secondary school until the postgraduate research, never had a year when he did not score.

The director asked, "Did you obtain any scholarships in school?" the youth answered "none".

The director asked, " Was it your father who paid for your school fees?" The youth answered, "My father passed away when I was one year old, it was my mother who paid for my school fees.

The director asked, " Where did your mother work?" The youth answered, "My mother worked as clothes cleaner. The director requested the youth to show his hands. The youth showed a pair of hands that were smooth and perfect.

The director asked, " Have you ever helped your mother wash the clothes before?" The youth answered, "Never, my mother always wanted me to study and read more books. Furthermore, my mother can wash clothes faster than me.

The director said, "I have a request. When you go back today, go and clean your mother's hands, and then see me tomorrow morning.*

The youth felt that his chance of landing the job was high. When he went back, he happily requested his mother to let him clean her hands. His mother felt strange, happy but with mixed feelings, she showed her hands to the kid.

The youth cleaned his mother's hands slowly. His tear fell as he did that. It was the first time he noticed that his mother's hands were so wrinkled, and there were so many bruises in her hands. Some bruises were so painful that his mother shivered when they were cleaned with water.

This was the first time the youth realized that it was this pair of hands that washed the clothes everyday to enable him to pay the school fee. The bruises in the mother's hands were the price that the mother had to pay for his graduation, academic excellence and his future.

After finishing the cleaning of his mother hands, the youth quietly washed all the remaining clothes for his mother.

That night, mother and son talked for a very long time.

Next morning, the youth went to the director's office.

The Director noticed the tears in the youth's eyes, asked: " Can you tell me what have you done and learned yesterday in your house?"

The youth answered, " I cleaned my mother's hand, and also finished cleaning all the remaining clothes'

The Director asked, " please tell me your feelings."

The youth said, Number 1, I know now what is appreciation. Without my mother, there would not the successful me today. Number 2, by working together and helping my mother, only I now realize how difficult and tough it is to get something done. Number 3, I have come to appreciate the importance and value of family relationship.

The director said, " This is what I am looking for to be my manager.
I want to recruit a person who can appreciate the help of others, a person who knows the sufferings of others to get things done, and a person who would not put money as his only goal in life. You are hired.

Later on, this young person worked very hard, and received the respect of his subordinates. Every employee worked diligently and as a team. The company's performance improved tremendously.

A child, who has been protected and habitually given whatever he wanted, would develop "entitlement mentality" and would always put himself first. He would be ignorant of his parent's efforts. When he starts work, he assumes that every person must listen to him, and when he becomes a manager, he would never know the sufferings of his employees and would always blame others. For this kind of people, who may be good academically, may be successful for a while, but eventually would not feel sense of achievement. He will grumble and be full of hatred and fight for more. If we are this kind of protective parents, are we really showing love or are we destroying the kid instead?*

You can let your kid live in a big house, eat a good meal, learn piano, watch a big screen TV. But when you are cutting grass, please let them experience it. After a meal, let them wash their plates and bowls together with their brothers and sisters. It is not because you do not have money to hire a maid, but it is because you want to love them in a right way. You want them to understand, no matter how rich their parents are, one day their hair will grow gray, same as the mother of that young person. The most important thing is your kid learns how to appreciate the effort and experience the difficulty and learns the ability to work with others to get things done.

copied&pasted from http://stories-that-coach.blogspot.com/

don't lose it

2011-07-12T13:13:00.003+01:00

anger ; A strong feeling of displeasure or hostility.

***

aku pelupa. nama, asal, sekolah, course study, kampung halaman, kerja parents, makanan favourite,sponsorship kawan2 dan sesiapa saja yg aku kenal. even jasa baik atau perbuatan buruk diorang sama je aku lupa gak, melainkan kalau ada events, items yg buatkan aku teringat balik.

baru2 ni aku naikkan suara aku. berlakon? oh tidak...real punya.

senyap kerana respect masih ada. jgn sampai hilang

A new week

2011-07-11T08:27:00.001+01:00

****

How do you feel when there's no sun?
And how will you be when rain clouds come and pull you down again?
How will you feel when there's no one?
Am I just like you?
All the things you do

****

Let's make sense of what we have done for the past seven days.
Reflect. Sift through. Poise.

Today is a new day.

it's possible to leave facebook untouched for a year. i've seen it.

2011-07-11T00:01:00.000+01:00

back to my old URL

2011-07-08T00:54:00.004+01:00

pro bono; for public good

***

I'm no coward, neither a backstabber. there are things that I post here that barely make any sense. I'm not scared of people finding and reading my blog.

so, I'm reverting back to my dear ol' URL.

I have my happy times.

when things go the way I want them to be. when I got better result than I expected. when I'm talking to my mom on skype video call. when I win a Yu-Gi-Oh duel against my brother. when I cooked something awesome, at first attempt! and most important, when I'm remembering Allah. as I always say, the latter may sound cliche' but isn't that how we're supposed to be?

I have my down times.

when things turn for the worst, leaving me with no option. hating myself for going along with things I'm not supposed to even come close to. whenever I fail to meet people's expectation, though the best thing to anyone is meeting the Creator's expectation. I acted silly. I procrastinate, leaving things topsy-turvy. I curse the helter skelter of life.

in my down time, I rant

in my happy time, I share

some in this blog, some on facebook, some right on the faces of the schmucks.

this one life I have is no vacation. it's a bridge to a utopia for the disbeliever and an ultimate goal for the believer, but all praise to Allah, only with His mercy that we will enter His paradise.

I feel sick when one thinks cheap of another's advice...

...or when their action present as if they're not listening.

give and take

letting go and coming to term

acceptance an denial

that's life

the vulgarity of personal desire can be debilitating

what I need?

poise. poise. poise. do this for me, I'll it for you. NO CHARGE.

sabar daripada marah

2011-07-06T17:03:00.003+01:00

bismillah.

apa rasulullah s.a.w kata tentang mereka yang mampu tahan amarah?

mereka orang paling kuat

definisi kuat dalam islam berbeza dari definisi Kamus Dewan

kalau orang tanya aku,

aku kata aku bukan orang penyabar,

mungkin ikut abah

masuk gerai makan, duduk, order makan dan minum

hisap 2 batang rokok

kalau makan minum tak sampai gak lagi

blah..

senang cerita.

sabar tanda ada control

bila orang buat perangai

aku sangat meluat

bila orang complaint or mengutuk belakang2

(tak kira orang yg kena aku kenal atau tak)

telinga aku rasa terbakar

rasa nak tikam2 mamat yg banyak cakap ni

bila ada orang merajuk

kerana rasa tak dihargai

kerana rasa tertipu

kerana rasa ditinggalkan

kerana sangka-sangkaan di minda

...aku rasa menyampah dengan dia

kerana tak berfikir dalam2

kerana tak bertanya terus daripaa berspekulasi

kerana tak berkata-kata

...lalu bermuka masam

kita tak mahu control

..perasaan

..sangka-sangkaan

..tingkah laku kita

kita sanggup biar hilang control dan meletup

maafkan aku kerana aku juga manusia

ada rasa menyampah, meluat,terbakar

***

sabar dalam islam pada 3 perkara

(1)sabar dalam menunaikan perintah Allah

solat,puasa,zakat,haji

(2)sabar dalam menjauhi perkara yang dilarang

..menjaga pandangan,kemaluan

..tinggal perkara lagha, membuang masa

jaga adab,akhlak

etc.

(3)sabar menghadapi kesukaran dan dugaan hidup

kemalangan, hilang harta benda atau orang tersayang

kegagalan dalam exam,perkahwinan

dugaan ini kerana 2

Allah mahu ingatkan hamba-Nya unia ini sementara

Allah mahu menguatkan keimanan hambanya yang soleh

2011-07-04T18:41:00.002+01:00

bismillah..

aku selalu kata aku tak ada apa yang boleh nak di'offer' pada orang lain

rasa useless, incompetent, batu,kayu,ranting

segala macam..

hakikatnya,

manusia ada potensi berbeza

duduk jap dan tengok balik apa ada pada diri kita

ada orang tak ada apa yang kita ada

ada orang berebut mahukan apa yang kita ada

ada orang lebih daif

*****

aku ada sorang kawan yang study biotech kat uni. of edinburgh

dia aim seminggu beli satu buku dari charity shop

OXFAM CANCERresearch BHF

ultimately, bila graduate dan berumah sendiri

dia nak ada library sendiri

macam best

so, aku mula dengan buku2 ni

"The best way to get people to learn is turn them into teachers"

2011-07-04T10:30:00.001+01:00

^_*

2011-07-04T09:59:00.002+01:00

acap kali jari ni mahu menaip,

tapi takut idea yang dilontar cliche' dan basi

takut tiada manfaat

apa aku takut?

.....

target minggu ni

niatkan amal yang mahu dibuat

ikhlaskan hati sebelum dan selepas

amal terbatas vs amal tak terbatas

kami selalu bersama

kami selalu berjauhan

moga dalam doa sentiasa kami berdekatan

jangan rasa diri tak ada apa

memberi

boleh jadi perhatian

boleh jadi penghargaan

boleh jadi sepatah alhamdulillah. yarhamkallah

kerana menerima sahaja kita tak dapat apa

bila memberi kita memperoleh sesuatu

pahala dari Allah

doakan diri ini

hanya doa senjata umat ini

jolting my thoughts

2011-07-03T20:29:00.003+01:00

don't ever offer skimpy job.

they're useless when it matter most.

don't wallow in sorrow, you can own it.

pristine heart glows in light and darkness,

it never bore the soul of the bearer.

hold as a shield, wear as an armour

from a façade

from twisted worldly oasis

cathartic melody never hum itself

a special something worth what we give it

a friend sticks around for the good and the bad

a burden can only be felt, not seen

a problem is a problem

only when we see it as one

stop. pause. rewind.

rid the play and forward

mind the present

plan the future

ponder the past

WE WILL COME OUT STRONG

only if we wish so

An Epiphany

2011-07-03T01:33:00.002+01:00

bismillah.

aku belajar sesuatu hari ni, jangan pandang remeh perkara2 kecil. penghargaan itu besar nilainya. hadirnya menghidupkan satu jiwa, hilangnya membunuh satu jiwa.

jangan pendam kata2 kita terlalu lama, nanti ia menjadi racun. jangan bersangka-sangka, lebih2 lagi kalau soal ukhuwah, syaitan mampu 'cucuk' kita sampai al-quran ke laut, sunnah pun lesap. yang tinggal nanti cuma benci dan amarah.

nauzubillah.

astaghfirullah.astaghfirullah.astaghfirullah.

sedangkan lidah lagi tergigit, inikan pula dengan orang lain.

hati kita mudah kotor dengan dosa, kecil mahupun besar. memandang remeh dosa2 kecil menjadikan dosa itu sesuatu yang besar. dosa tetap dosa, itu clear cut.

Allah benci pendosa.

Ya Allah, kau siramilah kami dengan kesabaran, tetapkan jiwa kami dijalan-Mu dan bantulah kami ke atas orang kafir.

aku tak faham

2011-07-02T10:05:00.006+01:00

sumpah aku tak faham sebenarnya apa kehendak manusia ni. duit, pangkat, rumah,kereta tu macam benda yang biasa aku tengok, tapi kepuasan-emosi-obsesi!?? memang aku tak faham apakejadah yang orang nak.

aku ada member-ain (baca arab untuk dua) yang memang jelas punya percanggahan personality (personality clash or collision?).

X ; sangat petah berkata-kata, dan bila ada masalah atau perselisihan sangat senang nak dapatkan penjelasan atau masuk dalam perbincangan. bila dia tak dapat nak salurkan pendapat dia pada pihak kedua atau ketiga, lebih selalu buat sangkaan-sangkaan (hunch or intuition) ataupun dengan menyiasat orang keliling subjek utama (baca: orang, individu) yang terlibat.

W ; sedikit menyimpan (bottle up) dan hanya berkata-kata apa yang perlu. lebih suka dengan pendekatan action speaks louder than words, dan memang dia akan campak perselisihan tu jauh-jauh, bak kata pepatah buang yang keruh, ambil yang jernih. bila diberi peluang berkata-kata atau menjelaskan isu berhadapan, jangan potong cakap dia atau buat muka menyampah atau marah. dia dengan mudah rasa takut, atau mahu jaga hati kawan la senang kata, akhirnya dia tak boleh nak berkata sepatah pun.

jadi..

apa masalah diorang?

dua-dua orang ni memang dari awal tak berapa 'ngam' dengan satu sama lain. tapi diorang masih cuba untuk buat-buat normal, teruskan rutin harian macam tak ada masalah.

ok. bahagian ni, pun dah cuba, tapi rasanya tak cukup dan kadang-kadang ada perhatian atau perbuatan atau personaliti yang tak boleh nak dipalsukan.

sekarang, dah tahap retak terbelah-belah bagai pinang dihentam tukul, dikisar-kisar. ada juga cubaan untuk pick up the pieces (or debris?), dan ternyata mustahil bila kisah lama terungkit-ungkit macam papan jongkang-jongkit.

apa lagi aku boleh buat? kata-kata aku memang tak lut nak tembus calvaria dari admantium diorang. hati dah tawar mengalahkan teh kurang gula yang aku buat. kata2 diorang terasa lagi bagus dari air liur aku.

“Ingatlah, hanya dengan mengingat Allah-lah hati menjadi tenteram.”

Quran 13:28

memang jiwa aku kacau sebab secara tak langsung aku terbabit sama.

[][[][[][][][][

2011-07-02T00:38:00.003+01:00

deja vu ; the experience of feeling sure that one has already witnessed or experienced a current situation, even though the exact circumstances of the previous encounter are uncertain and were perhaps imagined.

****

''same old..same old..''
that's what my flatmate used to say about our uni. days
in other words, don't expect much

what about a rift?
when you're able get over with one,
would you want to get entangle with the same issue again?
that's silly to me
naive
immature
HAVE YOU NOT LEARN ANYTHING AT ALL?

“Janganlah kamu bersikap lemah, dan janganlah pula kamu bersedih hati, padahal kamulah orang-orang yg paling tinggi darjatnya, jika kamu org2 yg beriman.” - Surah Al-Imran ayat 139

^_^

2011-07-01T10:50:00.001+01:00

ada tak korang harap diri korang part of X-men supaya korang boleh selamatkan dunia?

memang korang terlalu banyak berangan. wake up doh!

gloom.vicious repertoire

2011-07-01T01:30:00.002+01:00

i want normal people around me. not some obsessed-emo-zombie.

definitely not in my range of tolerance.

spit. even when words weigh tonnes.

kill. harm. not a single soul, mind that!

torture. never, even in way of text or verbal assault.

these are roads to gloom.

gloom : A melancholy, depressing, darkness, shade or despondent atmosphere

%-]

2011-06-30T10:13:00.002+01:00

muse : to think or meditate in silence, as on some subject.

to gaze meditatively or wonderingly.

how often do we do this? stop. stare. stipulate a deep thought from your mind. musing over things that happen in our daily routine is one. how about musing over the creation of God?

the sky. blue.

the earth. lush.

the air. animated.

the sun. scorch.

****

X: let's play game. wanna tag along?

E: it's ok. just taken a shower.

X: how about the other days? just taken a shower as well?

:(

2011-06-29T18:32:00.002+01:00

bismillah..

you know you hate a person when their voice become somewhat annoying to you, like the the doorbell ringing non-stop or the fire alarm that wails endlessly.

Hatred (or hate) : a deep and emotional extreme dislike, directed against a certain object or class of object

:_(

2011-06-29T10:15:00.003+01:00

psychedelic - anything with abstract decoration of multiple colours. kind of like when one is having hallucination.

people with gloomy face irks me from time to time. it would cheer me up a bit if they share why the sad face, but simply walking around the house like some half rotten zombie surely add petrol to the burning blanket.

don't judge me. i'm just another person with personal voice...in words.

~~~time~

2011-06-28T19:48:00.003+01:00

posthumous - something continuing after one's death.

i wish all my charity, knowledge and pious children's prayer will be rewarded posthumously by Allah and continually ease anyone related.

i think we all have things that we want to do, planned to do but we loses interest or the drive to accomplish them from time to time. sigh*

+_+

2011-06-28T11:20:00.002+01:00

a simple complication, a little miscommunication,
we're stuck in square ten,
one can lie to others but never to his self,
it will show in the face,

when you wake up from sleep

2011-06-28T09:52:00.002+01:00

-do you pray that God bless your day.

-did you go straight to the toilet and have a refreshing shower.

-you put on your running shoes, hit the road and only come back when you all sweaty and hungry.

-call your parents oversea.

-just lie in bed, staring at the ceiling.

....

2011-06-27T20:28:00.002+01:00

it's a human built-in character to abscond in the face of something we hate. we lie, thinking it's a white lie till the disaster struck. I go AWOL in my case.

I'm trying to put my mind together right now. things have been jumbled up due to circumstances, but I feel very much refreshed for I'm given a second chance.

bismillahi tawakkaltu 'ala Allah.

life is like a spinning coin

2011-06-27T06:08:00.002+01:00

bismillah..

last week was the graduation for St Andrews Uni. 3rd year medics. I should've been up there in Scotland with Chin Yit Soo and Nadia Kamil, graduating from the-soon-to-be alma mater, leaving behind great memories and fun times with the keen peeps of Fife county.

I have no regret for not being there with them.

Life is like a wheel. there's time when you're at the top and there's time when you'll be down there, at the bottom, sinking in the mud or pothole. That's the common conception about life as it is.

Not me.

I think life is like a tossed coin. or spun coin or top. WHY. We need something that drive us day-to-day, second-to-second, something worthwhile pursuing and we see it rewarding, promising utter bliss and satisfaction. Just like a coin or top imparted with force to make them spin the way they are, that's also how our life is governed.

I always have this naturally, build in laziness, or constant apathy towards many things that pique people's interest in general (the very things that i feel unnecessary to be fussed about).

Maybe because I do not care to risk the comfort of staying unmoved. The fear of facing dificulty as result of something that I do.

So, verily, with every difficulty, there is relief.

Verily, with every difficulty there is relief.

(Al-Insyirah:5-6)

I want to make my life a worthy one, one that please Allah and follow the way of the prophets.

p/s: at this point i'm already too lazy to elaborate more. sigh.

sigh**

2011-06-15T11:13:00.002+01:00

why must all sound arguments be beaten by 'BUT'?

spur of the moment?
heated up conversation?
loss of rational thinking?

marahkan kawan

2011-06-13T20:29:00.002+01:00

sebab apa ek? sayang pada kawan kita jadi kita nak selamatkan dia. concern, tak nak diorang entangled dgn problem2 yg tak patut. tapi that feeling tak reciprocate dan kita kecewa kerana respon tak seperti yg kita harap? tu yg jadi MARAh?

perlu ke?

aku nampak marah tu sebab hati kita lemah. waktu2 macam ni banyak sangkaan buruk menerjah ruang akal kita. serba serbi apa yg kawan kita buat akan kelihatan seperti ada moti tersirat. kita speculate macam2; dia ni tak puas hati jadi post hadis or ayat al quran yg macam nak 'sound' balik attitude kita. dia tak balas mesej, tak jawab call sebab tak suka kita, menyampah dgn kita walhal ada possibility yg ada urusan yg mengekang pada waktu tu, wallahualam.

aku selalu kata ni semua kerja syaitan je ni.

NO. wake up kid. your heart is WEAK!

your IMAAN is hanging by a thread there.

apa yg kita mahu sebenarnya?
husnuzon kita bersyarat. ada tempoh masa. kita buat banyak alasan bila kita dah malas nak bersangka baik, alasan orang yg lagi satu takde pun nak bersangka baik pada kita.

dah kalau benci tu mutual apa lagi nak digerutukan. part each other for the sake of Allah. jgn continue dalam dosa krn mengata, marah2 antara satu sama lain. apa lupa hak saudara muslim yg rasulullah kata?

Panic! At The Disco: The Overture

2011-06-02T08:47:00.000+01:00

Suara Anak Felda

2011-06-01T16:01:00.000+01:00

dont question this

2011-06-01T00:51:00.003+01:00

you don't have to fight with brawn when you know their weakness,
words would suffice.
sharpen your mind, they can be lethal weapon.
mental bomb.
puzzles in the brain,
can turn the world upside down.

we'll do this one step at a time.

some people show extreme fervor for drivel.
tell you what, frivolity does not make this world revolve,
so skip your jokes.

some people question about their ill fate.
read this;
Arthur Ashe;
If I were to say, "God, why me?" about the bad things, then I should have said, "God, why me?" about the good things that happened in my life.
his fans questioned why did he get the HIV due to health care negligence,
he then mentioned if he was to question,
why not question why did he won the tennis championship in the first place?

that's qada and qadar
Allah decided our sustenance and death,
we can plan what we can,
exercise what we can,
dream of what we want,
but
stay in rememberance of Him,
for He holds OUR END in His hand.

st andrews isoc barbeque 2011

2011-05-27T10:39:00.001+01:00

another year passed.
a year closer to our death.
a step closer to our dream.
moving forward.
fast paced and slowly time flies by.
we grow up.
we learn from our mistakes.
we learn to cry,
weep,
share and laugh,
and keep it halal.

May Allah grant us better years ahead.

Biatu solehah.
Qudwatu hasanah.

seusai tiga tahun

2011-05-25T23:47:00.002+01:00

i like drama, even with sappy ending although i'm not the romantic or hearty person. just don't let me be in it.

pejam. celik. pejam. celik.

dah tiga tahun aku kat perantauan (mungkin kurang tiga tahun kalau tolak cuti summer balik malaysia). tapi yg penting, aku baru je habis final exam untuk tahun ketiga di bumi Scotland ni. semua orang macam dah tak sabar nak 'berambus' dari uni life and get some break. masing2 dengan mixed feeling diorang; gembira,sedih,sayu,rindu (poyo la ni...) dgn lectures dan practicals.

aku pun sama.

cuma aku lagi suka back away dari semua aktiviti yg nampak penuh drama ni dan indulge dgn fikirkan apa aku nak buat seterusnya (cuti empat bulan kot). entah2 boleh amik kursus dan kahwin terus. kelasss gitu.

OK. mungkin tak. dan memang TAKKK la kalau mak tahu.

kelas tajwid and tilawah mungkin option yg paling reasonable. dan aku banyak hutang dengan orang2 keliling aku. tak lupa aku punya tanggungjawab yg aku dah lepas camtu je sepanjang dua bulan lepas. astaghfirullah. lemah betul iman aku. mudah sangat goyah dan balik ke benda yg aku sangat benci.

apa yang aku dah accomplish ye?

2011-05-25T05:51:00.001+01:00

there's an element of scepticism growing inside of me.

esp. to those claiming to fight for islam (politically in particular).

dah plan masa depan? mula sekarang, apa2 boleh jadi janji Allah wills it.

2011-05-24T21:59:00.000+01:00

Kehidupan Touch Screen Masa Depan

another rant

2011-05-24T05:59:00.002+01:00

do you realize when we become too indulged with putting down ourself, and we we didn't even notice it until it has reached almost irreversible state, everything around us just turn into very very bland objects? i do.

every time i pick up a text book, sit down and try to crack on some materials they just put me off. EVERY SINGLE TIME!!! i know my room is not pitch black. i know it's not cloudy or rainy or stormy out there. i know i am not blind which i am very grateful of. BUT, my mind is simply blank.

do i have to do this?

i mean THIS!! hitting on my keyboards, ranting on this mute wall of my blog, this life-less laptop screen everytime i hit a wall. it's irking me.

well, maybe my problem is not like pictured by the cartoon but still. let's put the female as my problems. i am a scaredy-cat when it comes to dealing with my problems. simply because they matter to me, they will influence what sort of reaction pulled up by people around me and i'm not liking the expressions they have on their face. screw them. screw my thought!

to be honest, i do know i'm overthinking things when i should be rolling on the job i'm obliged to do. hitting the grades i'm supposed to get. working on my flaws (comm skills, anti-soc-ness,confidence, speech prob etc. as the list goes).

reformation starts with ourself.

ourself=myself, in this case.

i will be very sorry for myself when go back to this post in the future as it's so vain, devoid of any intellectual points or any self-motivating material. and the contents just show how shallow my current self is.

muhasabah. muhasabah. muhasabah.

kuasa Tuhan

2011-05-23T23:56:00.001+01:00

Fish and frogs living out of water - BBC

impressed i am..upon the skill of the cameramen, upon the research put to learning these amazing creatures and most of all the creatures itselves. amazing creation. blotting paper skin. burrowing and hibernating fish (first time i bump into such case - never knew). frog bladder water supply.

betul la, kalau dicari lagi nikmat/kekuasaaan Tuhan dengan semua pokok kat dunia jadi pen dan air 7 lautan jadi dakwat pun masih tak ter'list down' semuanya. subhanallah. Allahuakbar!

dalam sehari-hari kita ke hulu ke hilir apa ada dalam fikiran kita? mana nak makan lepas ni, nak tengok movie apa malam ni, usher2 gadget baru keluar kat market, berkira2 plan nak melancong cuti akan datang ni?

wallahi, minda kita sentiasa bekerja, memproses, input output tak henti2 macam juga jantung kita yg tak henti2 pam darah ke seluruh badan kita sejak kita lahir. yang penting at the end of the day, macam mana kita mensyukuri nikmat yg Allah bagi la kan.

word of the day:

glean/glēn/Verb

1. Extract (information) from various sources.

2. Collect gradually and bit by bit.

kali ni bagi link je. yang rajin sila buka link ni. boleh ke aku buat post macam ni? ok what, elak plagiarism sebab rupanya byk blogger kepoh isu ni

2011-05-23T13:06:00.003+01:00

http://soutulislami.blogspot.com/2011/05/who-is-truly-one.html

31st to Newcastle. May Allah make this a blessed journey. .what's done is done. pray hard, play hard, work likewise..

2011-05-21T04:30:00.001+01:00

it's ok if we're slow to be cautious. don't be slow cause we're a slowpoke inborn.

2011-05-20T04:44:00.001+01:00

my rule, just once. no try for misdeeds.

2011-05-19T17:56:00.000+01:00

headstrong

2011-05-17T03:40:00.004+01:00

pinch a loaf
when our day starts with virtue
expect pleasure not
from the world so vain
but from God who sustain

push pull tread throw
big or small
little or insignificant
deep or shallow
holed up or walled
just give it a rant
just so things turn out for the better

stop any absent-mindedness
inadvertent memos
empty tantrums
remind me
for i'm just another son of Adam
bound to forget
bound to make mistake
may the rewards come from God
in bulk and cash

i will stand tall
and strong
for who
with who
let my heart answer that in whisper
allow my actions reply
in sincere gesture
i tough this out
with Allah by my side

jumble heart

2011-05-16T07:03:00.002+01:00

let alone you,
one that sometimes mesmerize,
cluelessly,
swept me off my feet,
cry baby cry,
do not let mandom to take over,
what ever makes you sleep,
smiles lopsided,
with no money-back-guarantee,
why oh why?
bare-naked emoticons,
picture my insight insufficiently,
grave's when hyper,
cretinize me when low,
level down your ego
a notch or two,
for it
is not my cup of tea,
to break neck
or reach vertical limit
it's no nuclear science,
we live
life given
we submit
rocket science i suppose?
hold me down...
down to earth

rindu bertali arus ni. bijakkan dirimu wahai aku

2011-05-15T22:27:00.003+01:00

aku rindu pada family aku,
sebab apa?
hanya sebab,
diorang family talian darah kot,
takde sebab lain,
aku rindu unconditionally,
macam diorang sayang aku unconditionally.

aku rindu pada 'orang itu',
dia dah macam abang aku kat tanah orang ni,
mungkin aku tak turn out seperti yg dia harapkan,
tapi,
aku harap dia tak putus2 doakan agar aku berubah,
untuk kebaikan,
dan aku tak pernah ada rasa kecil hati, marah atau dengki,
dan aku doa supaya aku takkan ada rasa2 negatif tu,
sebab aku rindu dan sayang dia,
unconditionally.

aku rindu pada Allah dan rasul-Nya,
walau tak pernah bersua,
aku boleh tenang,
sebab aku tahu Allah bersamaku di mana2,
asalkan aku tak putus2 mengingati Dia.
dan Rasulullah s.a.w sayang dan rindu aku..
lebih dari aku sayang dan rindu dia.

aku rindu pada biah solehah,
tika bersama2 teman se-fikrah,
diorang semangat,
aku rasa makin kuat,
ijlis bina,
nukmin sa'ah,
jiwa yg kosong rasa terubat,

aku rindu pada syurga Allah,
meskipun belum kucium bau,
belum ternampak indahnya,
belum kedengaran tawa penghuninya,
aku mahu milikinya,
masukinya,
tapi diri yg kotor dgn jahilyah ini
adakah akan memungkinkan?

moga al-quran dan sunnah jadi bimbingan,
kita pimpin tangan,
menuju kejayaan abadi,
bukan hanya pada kata
atau rasa,
tapi beriring doa dan usaha.

Amiin...

procrastination.habit.fruitlessness

2011-05-09T16:09:00.003+01:00

"Why do we procrastinate? Because we allow ourselves to immerse in other worthless activities and slowly withdraw into a passive mode, wh...ere we can not do physical or mental hard work.

The trick to overcome such a condition is to not let this condition overcome you.

Our habits are even more deeply engraved in our minds than the temporary condition of laziness, so it’s just a matter of forming such a habit that can redeem us from the curse of procrastination.

Try this recipe: Do your most important task first every morning.

Ingredients: Discipline, Determination, and a deep desire to succeed."

credit: hisham mahir

2011-05-08T22:52:00.002+01:00

wow. in just one week, a lot had happened in the world of news. if we take heed, read the news that is.

Osama bin Laden assassination (or manslaughter as some claimed).

Hamas & Fatah reconciliation.

UK voting 'no' to AV (alternative vote).

BNP winning election in scotland.

clashes in cairo.

Syria crackdown, civilian deaths.

Qatar buying up london (obvious not in just a week but longer time period)

fire in scotland area (what??? SCOTLAND??)

i submitted my thesis hard copy (student selected component).

woooohoooooo...the joy of completing a job i despise direly throughout the 10 weeks into the writing,reading,gathering infos ecstatic. only the one in my shoe can understand it and probably i'm not the first to have this sort of satisfaction (gazillion others before me who completed their study surely have had their go). man...i cannot put it into words. simply amazing! but i'm supposed to get into putting together my slides for presentation now though...haish..no complaints.

faiza faraghta fan sobb!

Tipu.tertipu,belajar sila

2011-05-08T12:38:00.002+01:00

Hakikatnya, manusia ditipu berkali-kali oleh syaitan.

Cara mengatasinya?

1. Tingkatkan ilmu

2. Belajar dari pengalaman

3. Sabar

4. Duduk dengan orang-orang yang beriman supaya mudah dinasihati

5. Berjihad untuk tidak mengulanginya

6. Be observant dan sentiasa muhasabah

7. Sentiasa berdoa dari Allah supaya diberi petunjuk dan kuat iman

8. Sentiasa mengingatiNya. Kerana tanpa khusyu' padaNya, ketujuh2 tips di atas langsung tidak akan berkesan

Returning to Allah

2011-05-04T19:43:00.000+01:00

dead beat. almost#

2011-05-02T12:52:00.003+01:00

ya Allah.....

kenapa susah sangat kita nak ditch the dirt and move on?

it has been a long fight. no signs of me winning the war.

all is fair in love and hate war.

ta caya aku.

bikin orang cramp kepala inside out.

solusi ada,

cuma nak consolidation.

reinforcement.

boost.

top up iman.

if it's not peachy

2011-05-01T18:51:00.001+01:00

life is an arduous struggle.

live by quranic code.

may the struggle be rewarded handsomely.

selam

2011-05-01T00:27:00.003+01:00

selam.

selam lagi dalam.

terus bernafas. dgn tangki iman.

yg ciput. yg ciput tu perlu top up.

selam.

selam. waktu suram.

makan hati berulam jantung cicah sambal belacan.

memang taaaaaak lah!

mana pergi panduan.

dihumban ke belakang,

atau bersusun di almari?

atau kau memang tak heran?

selam.

selamba. tak tau esok hari kau tiada.

memang naya.

kau sendiri jadi punca.

jangan kata

orang tak kongsi satu dua.

selam.

selangkah. tiga tapak. lapan kaki. seratus kilometer.

tak ada makna kalau tak dipandu.

ke mana tuju kau tak tahu.

selam.

ikhtiar bukan bungkam.

ingat hari kau je kelam?

aku fikir jalan kita sama,

cuma aku konflik simpang tiga, apa cerita, nanti aku lari, kau lari, biar mata kita jadi saksi.

tapi...

tapi...

Allah saksi terbaik.

....

2011-04-27T16:12:00.000+01:00

mak. mak. mak.

ye nak..mahu apa?

saya cuma mahu mak kat sini.

Modesty & Shame

2011-04-26T05:10:00.000+01:00

2011-04-25T13:03:00.003+01:00

walking proud at the beach, not so (dah macam yoda pulak).

seriously, right now, all the fuse-boxes in my brain are toast with most wires meltdown, some loose screws here and there up here (pointing index finger to my head). oh dear me. it feels horrendous, and i definitely do not fancy such feeling. all i can do to rid myself of such feeling is to hum ##somewhere beyond the sea. somewhere that i can't see..# well..tell you what? i'm totally screwed this time around and i'm utterly oblivious of what's coming to hit me hard ( this is in no way calm before the storm ). Katrina? Isabel? Nina? come typhoon, come hell or high water i'll break through this! (i'm not so sure about the 'hell' part though, i fear it..nauzubillah)

with all senses, wake up dear ME! not suppose to blog at this crucial moment la wei...wanna flunk meh? woohoho..no way. nauzubillahi min zalik!

i pray to Allah for His help in any form. let me live if living is better for me, let me die in struggle in His path if its better for me and He wills it.

a little visit that give ambivalent emotion

2011-04-24T22:52:00.007+01:00

happy gila bila ada orang visit rumah kita (not my muhrim though but i'm not strong enough to find excuse to refuse, partly my fault for indirect invitation). i'm thankful for the help and tips given to me though.

don't you feel the same?

i wish i could have given the best hospitality and good food (chips were a bit burnt and tropical juice was the last glass i have) but well...i'm a mere human being trying to embetter (is there such word in english?) myself in this life preparing for the afterlife. indeed, we need companions (i've been repeating this for gazillion times) in this estranged land of coastal village uni...not alone. recluse. antisoc. or whatever.

i'm learning. going back to basic.

step by step.

let me fall, help me get back up on my feet. even if no one bothers to help me, i have Allah and i'll surely get back up.

2011-04-23T16:43:00.003+01:00

aku ni lari dari kenyataan.

kenapa? aku tak punya sebab yg konkrit nak sua kat satu dunia ataupun oran keliling aku termasuk famili, mak abah. nauzubillah, aku tak mau stay macam ni selamanya. sah sah aku dropout dari list ahli syurga yg indah nan permai. takkan nak cita2 sampai kat luar dinding taman syurga je kot..memang terliur la dengar orang2 beriman yg lain berseronok bergumbira ha-ha-ha bila kita takde rasa sekelumit pun nikmat Allah kat akhirat nanti (tu la sape suruh jadi orang yg berputus asa a.k.a kafir?).

counting days, lagi beberapa hari bakal tiba hari yg sangat bersejarah untuk aku dan warga 3rd year medic coursemate aku..submission day. midday 26th tu..

fitrah manusia bila susah memang akan meminta pada tuhan, Allah yg Esa. tak kira la kafir tak kafir, atheist or agnostic mesti minta kat tuhan bila maut tu depan mata. sama parah bila muslim pun lebih kurang je. meminta bila dah susah, merayu bila terdesak je..bila dah senang mula la balik ke ol' self. sangat kurenggg....sangat munafiq.

rasanya..aku pun sama.

****

sangat pelik bin ajaib, aku suka cari humour dalam semua news portal yg available. memang kadang2 boleh kalah raja lawak. yg ni kat BHarian entah, tak tahu salah siapa dalam kes ni. tapi memang sure aku geli hati bila baca berita ni (ada gak rasa simpati sebenarnya..). kalau jumpa kat BBC ke theGuardian ke Foxnews ke memang aku faham la orang asing memang luar alam sikit. tak sama dgn norma ketimuran. haih.

give it up oh me.

2011-04-23T16:43:00.000+01:00

nak buang je kertas kecik ni...tapi...

2011-04-22T19:48:00.002+01:00

aku suka nak quote kat sini kata2 syeikh abu sulaiman darani;

''I attended a discourse by a syeikh....it had some effect on me, the first time last till i rose from the meeting. the second time i attended the meeting, the effect last till i reach home. on the third time, the effect remained even after reaching home''

jangan ambil word by word ye, sekadar rephrase setakat aku mampu dari nota kecil yg aku jumpa kat rak buku. tu la, aku ni suka simpan benda2 tak perlu sampai takda space untuk benda yg necessities. ok ok. apa konklusi dari apa yg syeikh ni kata? repetition sangat2 la penting untuk consolidation especially bila datang bab menerapkan nilai2 alQuran dan sunnah dalam kehidupan harian. memang parah mengalahkan budak kecik kena suruh makan ubat demam yg pahit.

yep. pengulangan tu sunnatullah.

ambil yg bermanfaat, buang yg takde khasiat!

2011-04-21T23:35:00.000+01:00

where's the fire?

i have to admit i'm wallowing in self pity too much these days. it can't be helped. nothing seems to pique my interest at all, let it be songs, movies, quran recitation, khaled yasin's talks, brother nouman ali's talks, video-making, study, blogs, BBC news, alJazeera, cooking,..even chatting to others.

i isolated myself from the world. barricaded.

this is pitiful. am i bipolar?

tell me something else if anyone knows better! yes yes...i'm in moments of difficulty and surely during this period i should be stronger in rememberance of Him. O Allah stregthen my imaan. It hurts when we realize or feel we are no better than ourselves from months ago...years ago...ages ago. the verdict for now is.....CHANGE IS ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE BY YOURSELF. not gonna deny this. my weakness of all time, the most chronic ever, not recognizing the problem. ..and here i am. I have problem to (urks...what jargon is this? it means mujahadahstruggle ok!), fighting the demons that haunted me for ages now.

"Allah does not burden a person beyond his ability. He will be rewarded for that which he has earned, and punished for that which he has earned...." (al Baqarah:286)

So, verily, with every difficulty, there is relief. Verily, with every difficulty there is relief. (94:5-6)

By Time.
Verily Man is in LOSS.
Except such as have Faith, and do righteous deeds,
and (join together) in the mutual teaching of Truth,
and of Patience and Constancy.

(103: 1-3)

A lot of things in this world are clear and need no further enlightening (sudah terang lagi bersuluh tak perlu obor olympic nak bagi terang), explanation, elaboration or debate. it's just us. we just do not listen! ketegaq!

i should know second best. i snapped!

astaghfirullah. astaghfirullah. astaghfirullah.

May Allah bless us and guide us in the righteous path.

till hereafter.

till then.

politic.knowledge.interests

2011-04-20T01:08:00.004+01:00

Annabel Goldie - evasive and incoherent

this is one of the many reason i am not keen of politics. i guess politicians are people who dwell in people's ignorance. my conclusion; educate myself, keep an open mind, always have the eagerness to learn new things and take heed of things that happen around. confidence can be very deceitful.

they say knowledge is power.

i'd say knowledge is double-edged sword; it cuts into flesh, when pushed to cut deeper with our hand on the other side of the blade, it cuts us.

scary thing to know how slick people can be with their twisted genius mind. look up the trillion dollar con man. not even big names, banks (sven goran eriksson, london bank) can escape the con; woot2; salute to the scammer (sarcastically..i don't approve such fraudulent bussiness). i'm very sure these people are bored out of their life to the max!

***

lately i'm experimenting a lot on lifting up my spirit, motivation, emotion. nothing effective to date. i tried quizzilla (girlish stuffs, couldn't last a minute). facebooking ain't helping either. novel??? the one in my possession is too mushy (look up 5 tahun 5 bulan), while the first four books i read were epic, substansial and heartfilling...well maybe i can rule out epic but it's certainly an understatement to say they're the average read. i love them. much.

what books i'm talking about?

By Hlovate:
VERSUS
ROOFTOP RANT
aA+bB
TUNAS

look them up online for snippets from the novel. you'll get hooked up i just minutes into reading.

adios amigoses

astaghfirullah. astaghfirullah. wa astaghfirullah.

muhasabah diri; is the ME today better than the ME yesterday?

wassalam

eternal happiness~~

2011-04-18T10:23:00.000+01:00

bismillah..

alhamdulillah. kita masih lagi diberi peluang bernafas tika ni, maknanya kita masih ada peluang utk bertaubat dan perbaiki diri kita. dan sungguh, kalau kita bijak, kita akan pilih untuk jadi lebih baik dari semalam atau hari2 yg lepas.

Sabda Nabi Muhammad s.a.w. yang bermaksud:
"Barangsiapa yang amalannya hari ini lebih baik dari semalam,dia adalah orang yang beruntung.
Barangsiapa yang amalannya hari ini sama dengan yang semalam,dia adalah orang yang rugi.
Dan barangsiapa yang amalannya hari ini lebih buruk dari hari semalam,dia tergolong orang yang dilaknat Allah S.W.T."

minit berganti jam, jam berganti hari, hari berganti minggu, berganti bulan, tahun, dekad.. kesimpulannya, kita bukan makin muda tapi makin tua. apa sumbangan yg kita dh bagi pada parents, siblings, sedara-mara, kawan2 dan dunia sejagat? Nil? that would be sad..we're worthless in a way.

apa cita-cita kita?

ahli bomba? askar? pensyarah? doktor? duu kat sekolah rendah boleh la jawab macam ni. advance sikit maybe nak fly oversea..masuk oxford, cambridge, harvard study course sukati abah kita. yang dah rasa tua bangka sikit dan fikir stail flash forward mungkin dah plan kerja kat mana, gaji banyak mana, isteri yg macam mana, kereta, rumah etcetera. list yg akan go on as long kita ada materialistic desire.

macam aku jugak. aku insan biasa.

tapi bila dah masa berlalu semua pursuit ni macam endless. tak penat ke? dan selagi kita hidup dalam masa sekarang, present, dalam dunia tiga dimensi ni kita akan membesar bersama masa..matang. lebih luas. lebih open. dan aku rasa aku punya pursuit up to this point hanya dunia semata-mata.

hidup ibarat berbendang

kalau kita tanam padi, kita dapat padi dan rumput

tapi..kalau kita tanam rumput, rumput je yg kita dapat. no padi padi.

sama la, bila kita strive untuk akhirat, kita dapat both dunia dan akhirat

bila kita strive untuk dunia, dunia je la yg kita dapat

sementara.

transitory.

endless-only in this life.

aku nak eternal happiness. camne nak dapat tu aku sangat bersyukur sebab sbg orang islam memang dah tak susah2. informasi tu readily available. tinggal part nak implement consistently dan immerse fully dalam kehidupan baik as student, anak, kawan, saudara seagama je lagi.

islam as a verb.

payah gilak nak capai. beriman satu hal. beramal macam liat-liat. ikhlas pulak ragu-ragu ada ke tak. pastu nak naik level ke taqwa, perghhh. macam a light year away je gayanya baru aku boleh reach eternal happiness aku.

cinta aku.

passion aku.

matlamat aku.

misi hidup aku.

cara hidup aku.

harta karun aku.

riwayat aku.

semua ni.....cuma possible kalau aku boleh purge semua karat jahiliyah dalam hidup aku,

yg dah melekat jadi tompok hitam dalam hati. tak semudah one two three atau ABC. memang sakit, even sekarang ni masih terasa cuma aku tak tau ke mana exactly aku kena turn to.

lantak sakit camne pun. aku usahakan insya'allah!

fake it till we make it!

post ni pun setuju: http://www.iluvislam.com/tazkirah/dakwah/1269-kita-bukan-hipokrit.html

adios amigos

wassalam

QUIZZILLA.how high is my self esteem?

2011-04-17T21:43:00.001+01:00

Result:

You're not happy and bubbly all the time (no way...there are times when i'm happy being me!) 'cause you've got a lot going on now (like...what?? even i didn't notice something going on around me) in your life. You're handling it at your own pace (as i was saying...what am i handling again??) and it may seem like too much to you. I'm sure everything will clear up soon and you'll go back to being your own confident self (confident..sure hope it's my middle name).

2011-04-17T13:16:00.001+01:00

betul la payah nak buat baik dan nak tahan diri buat yg tak baik.

orang bagi nasihat mudah je.

cair kat mulut, beku pada gaya.

jahat ke baik. you choose

2011-04-15T14:50:00.002+01:00

tiap2 satu dari amal kita yg baik kita akan dapat 'ajr(rewards) dan parents kita secara tak langsung akan dapat share mereka.

begitu jugak amal kejahatan kita.

parents kita akan merana, merasa sama seksa Tuhan atas kejahatan kita. kita zalim pada diri kita. kita jugak zalim pada parents kita. tak kesian ke?

buat baik berpada-pada, buat jahat jangan sekali

aku setuju bab buat jahat tu. dan aku cuba bersangka baik bila orang buat jahat. maybe diorang kurang kasih sayang..(cliche' gila)..diorang tak tau kot benda tu salah..takde orang nak tegur diorang kut..takpe nanti esok lusa diorang taubat la.. dah kalau takde orang nak bagi diorang kasih sayang, kita la yg kena bagi. atau at least ingatkan diorang yg Allah sentiasa sayang hambanya yg baik...kalau baik la..huhu. tu pasal jangan wat jahat.

diorang tak tau kot benda tu salah...

habis tu takkan kita diam je..kena la bagi tau diorang benda tu salah. tapi biar kena cara, kalau sound orang cara memalukan sampai diorang tolak kita dan nasihat kita bulat...haih. memang beats the whole purpose of reminding.

::macam banyak je nak sambung tapi dah rasa malas. actually ada kerja kena setelkan. takpe sambung next post..ngeh3.

stories

2011-04-15T13:21:00.002+01:00

some tell tales while others are true,

some are hard to believe,

we relate to stories,

we compare,

make us realize, when our days are rainy

others had theirs stormy and rocky

we learn lessons

precious when pondered upon

worthless if no one give a cent

make us think of ourselves

and think of others MOST of the time.

break away

drift apart

but our heart

become each others' insight.

2011-04-13T18:09:00.003+01:00

Ya Allah..berat sangat dah rasa ni.

tapi memang sepatutnya macam ni. cuma ni first time rasa. all out. gear six. (heh lesen kereta baru 10 bulan. masuk gear 5 pun boleh bilang berapa kali je).

teres major, trapezius ngan latissimus dorsi rasa cam cramp.

2011-04-12T22:50:00.003+01:00

i wanna live in a land called paradise
i wanna go to the valley of the king
I wanna live in a land called paradise
Wanna see the birds fly and I wanna hear the angels

***

aiseh. tak ikhlas ni. camane nak jadi mukhlisin yg excellent?

aku semangat sikit je, tu buat lebih. kalau hari lain jangan harap lah...tu pun boleh hati ni terasa diri baik sangattt ke? cakap siang pandang-pandang sikit, cakap malam bawak2 la lilin ke kalau dah takde sangat lampu suluh.

zhon buruk tul - pada diri sendiri.

lantak la. aku tak nak tinggal just sebab sok-sek syaitan kat dada.

***

natural talents are like natural plants, need pruning by study [Bacon]

***

boleh tak kalau aku kata 'perasan kuat' sebagai natural talent aku?

dah nama pun perasan kuat, tentu sekali aku ni tak-gerenti-kuat-buat-buat. kadang2 masalah yg timbul (aku kira dugaan dari Allah) macam aku punya salah jugak. procrastinator. tak mujahadah. lazy bum. su'u zhon. lepas tu, iman up and down sepanjang minggu konon sebab nak menghadapi dugaan2 yg mendatang. ceh. konon.

hey aku, you have a long way to go laaa...

4 steps to success yg kawan aku tulis kat blog dia; will. prepare. plan. action.

dunno which of these yang aku dah implement. macam satu pun takde yang sangkut. serba-serbi tak cukup sifat.

problem.solve it.

2011-04-12T03:44:00.004+01:00

Alamak. Mati la. Problem. Aiseh. Sangkut...!

Cinabeng. Asbestos remos galaktikos.

Respon bila ngadap masalah. Sulit. Kejang.

Apa lagi..fasa-fasa macam ni la makin banyak makan...makin banyak tidur. Tapi tidur cuma larikan diri dari kenyataan bukan melenyapkan kenyataan. Aku tengah gawat. Yep.

Reality bites. (dah macam lirik lagu ni)

Ya Allah, mudahkanlah jalan ni bagiku. sungguh aku hamba-Mu yg lemah, yg hanya mampu berusaha dan berdoa agar diberi susur keluar. sungguh Engkau Maha Mengetahui.

Kalau selalu kita memaling kepada PS3, youtube, movie dan lagu-lagu pop, rock, emo, indie untuk soothe jiwa yg ribut ni, mungkin kali ni waktunya kita 'turn' to God pulak. Bukan susah. Kalau malas nak hafal doa bahasa arab panjang berjela-jela, cukup kita sebutkan nama-nama Allah...follow dengan doa bahasa ibunda kita (jawa, kelate, utara, banjar redah je..).

lagi bagus dari kita lupa Dia langsung.

better than discounting Him altogether.

change.

before we kick the bucket.

of course it's not easy. we'll forever feel like a blind man with walking stick searching our path before we meander in the right way. again, panjatkan doa to Allah. may He guide us in the right way.

amin.

2011-04-11T18:59:00.004+01:00

tak semua orang lahir
dengan mulut yang betah.

rasa hati ni aku bungkus
label elok-elok
simpan dalam closet.

Incomplete (Poetry Video)

2011-04-11T14:57:00.000+01:00

2011-04-10T20:48:00.001+01:00

Bismillah hirrahmanirrahim.

dengan nama Allah Yang Maha Pemurah lagi Maha Menyayangi.

apa lagi kita nak dalam dunia ni bila ada yg 'sayang' kita dan sentiasa 'pemurah' kat kita? sama macam anak sedara aku yg bila nampak maknya, langsung nenek kemana angah kemana dan paksu kemana. cukup mak je.

simple. kehendak kecil. kemahuan si kecil.

tapi bila kita dah besar, semua serba-serbi tak cukup, rasa tak puas hati semedang. why? why? why?

betul, kepuasan kita terhadap dunia bergantung pada cara kita menilai dan menerima segala kelebihan dan kekurangan kita. secara material mahupun fizikal / mental.

what's my element?

2011-04-08T09:50:00.001+01:00

Your element is Fire: Strong, hot tempered, powerful, and passionate. Well now lets see, being fire you are quite strong and powerful, people look up to you greatly and often seek your protection.

You have the ability to gain many friends and you are always one people can count on to do what you say you will do.

You are extremely loyal be it friends or family you'll stick up for them and you are never willing to put them in a position that could hurt them.

You know what roll you play in life, leader, and you intend to let people know it. Not everyone is capable of leadership but you certainly have the willpower and flare to do it.

You have quite a temper if it shows itself, one that can often lead you into trouble. Once your mind is made up there is no changing it but no one said that was a bad thing.

honestly, the ones in bold really portray my personality. hey hey, these are stuffs for me to reflect, not brag. I bet life as a wimpy kid trouble lotsa people. grow up!

flashback.rewind.looking back

2011-04-07T19:17:00.002+01:00

Putar balik masa ke belakang ( ingatan je..), memori lama akan nampak manis dan suka duka boleh jadi pengubat jiwa. Cuma masalah kalau kita berpaut pada yg 'lapuk' selamanya especially sesuatu yg buruk dan tak mendatangkan manfaat.

We have to plough through the thick and thin of life alone or in gangs. But, be reminded, Allah is close to us.

وَإِذَا سَأَلَكَ عِبَادِي عَنِّي فَإِنِّي قَرِيبٌ أُجِيبُ دَعْوَةَ الدَّاعِ إِذَا دَعَانِ فَلْيَسْتَجِيبُوا لِي وَلْيُؤْمِنُوا بِي لَعَلَّهُمْ يَرْشُدُونَ

Maksudnya;Dan apabila hamba-hamba-Ku bertanya kepadamu tentang aku, Maka (jawablah), bahwasanya Aku adalah dekat. Aku mengabulkan permohonan orang yang berdoa apabila ia memohon kepada-Ku, Maka hendaklah mereka itu memenuhi (segala perintah-Ku) dan hendaklah mereka beriman kepada-Ku, agar mereka selalu berada dalam kebenaran.

Kita melupakan Dia tapi Sang Pencipta tak pernah lupa pada kita, hamba-Nya. Unconditional love kan? Apa keras sangat nak buang tabiat yang membunuh jiwa, menghitamkan hati? Kita biar dosa maksiat jadi pakaian kita walhal Allah dah bagi pakaian taqwa, sebaik-baik pakaian. Bukan je smart depan manusia, smart gak depan Allah.

Kalau sibghah kita kejahilan dan kejahatan, hai la...dah la tak smart, Allah pun kita tak jumpa sebab tercampak dalam neraka wail, saqar, hutomah dan lagi neraka yang sewaktu dengannya pedih azab tak ingat!

eh..eh..terpakai jargon pulak. sibghah tu celupan atau acuan kehidupan/personaliti.

peace out,
hidup beriman, hidup berharapan,

blabbering. tak puas hati.

2011-04-07T17:23:00.002+01:00

kalau sehari tak topsy turvy memang tak sah!

daripada comparing acne treatment, aku gi compare kualiti news yg guardian, bbc, independent, bharian, utusan dan harakah.

sumpah tak faham.

tu sebab aku suka berkawan dgn orang yg pandai 'read between the lines' esp yg orang yg ada pengalaman kerja dengan orang politik. critical minds can shake the world.

^_

2011-04-06T05:26:00.003+01:00

O_O

the moment our life gets squeezed by parenthesis is the moment we stop growing.

**

bukan senang.

snap.

2011-04-05T07:55:00.004+01:00

snap.

you won't know when it's your turn to kick the bucket.

how's provision? suffice. or just barely.

good news come in solo.

bad news come in stack.

be reminded. get reminded. as time and life make an equation that cannot be rewinded.

oh snap!

i forget.

i forgot.

fervently debated. hope you drop.

pass the words.

spread the love.

make sure to cope.

arm yourself, as no one decide. don't just let it slide.

abide.

and stride.

this humble abode only fits for one.

oh oh snap!

kadar ke diri tu.

2011-04-04T21:42:00.001+01:00

Kalau aku ni senget,orang lain pun bukannya lurus pembaris sangat.Nak mengata orang,sesiapa pun boleh buat.Nak berlagak bagus pun semua orang buat.

(curi dari hlovate. sori. thanks. ngeh3.)

2011-04-04T18:40:00.003+01:00

dunia ni cantik. tapi aku catkan hitam.

cuacanya cerah, aku leka dalam rumah.

angin sepoi-sepoi bahasa, sedang aku lena, solo.

bangun!

bangun!

bangun!

2011-04-03T16:48:00.002+01:00

astaghfirullah. astaghfirullah. astaghfirullah.

mudah kita rasa puas hati dengan amal kita kan?

rasa cukup baik.

camne dengan orang di sana yg leka dengan dunia?

satu masa nanti mereka akan datang menuntut hak mereka, hak untuk beriman tapi tak ada orang yg mahu mengingatkan.

aku pun sama.

3#

2011-04-02T14:51:00.004+01:00

''apa definisi kehidupan bagi ko?''

''life...'' ulang Mag panjang tak ada sambung.

''ko rasa dah tercapai ke tujuan hidup ko?'' aku tanya lagi.

Mag mengeluh. ''tak pernah lak aku cuba define life sepanjang 23 tahun aku hidup. apsal ko tanya soalan cepumas ni tiba2?''

''saja.'' sambil tangan menyeluk paket Twisties di tangan kiri. ''jawab je la.''

betul sentimen Mag tu, aku sendiri tak pernah terfikir sebelum ni. definisi kehidupan. tujuan hidup. macam mana orang nilai kehidupan mereka ye? miskin, kaya, gembira, suram, seksa, simple, complicated?

''what you give, you get back'' tutur Mag.

''maksud ko?'' aku tak faham.

''setiap satu di dunia ni ada balasannya. buat baik dibalas baik. orang mencuri merompak kena la tangkap, masuk jel. even terlepas pun tup tup esok lusa mati eksiden.'' sambung Mag ''kalau kita buat baik, amal soleh dapat balasan baik. kalau tak dalam bentuk material, secara rohani. kita rasa happy tolong orang.''

pergh..Mag ni punya ayat..

jahat ke aku? baik ke aku? dalam golongan mana aku ni ye? aku join circle tiap2 minggu, solat kira baik la kot?

''abis, kalau buat baik tapi kena kutuk, seksa kena jail cam kat negara arab tu camne?''

''haa..'' sambil tangan Mag berlari atas notepad,''tu pasal kita kena ingat sentiasa ada kuasa yg lebih tinggi menentukan. balasan tu dari Allah. kita terima je di dunia atau akhirat. seksaan,kutukan tu ujian Allah nak kuatkan jiwa manusia tu.''

''Ooo..'' aku suka lepak dengan Mag.

remind me if..

2011-04-01T00:00:00.002+01:00

bismillah hirrahman nirrahim.

betul. manusia itu pelupa.

aku pun.

aku mulakan dengan nama Allah kali ni. mungkin next time tak, sebab aku lupa? sebab aku manusia yang definisinya tak berubah sejak azali. manusia mencari perbaikan dalam diri, mencari kegembiraan dari mereka di sisi untuk mengisi hati.

***

you know, they have electric wand to put out fire in Harvard. or soon?

2#

2011-03-31T23:45:00.005+01:00

Allahuakbar..Allahuakbar..La ilaha illallah...

azan tanda dah masuk waktu isya'.

''ok, kita tamatkan sesi malam ni setakat ni. jangan lupa tugasan next week dan jaga mutabaah amal ye?'' brother Med mengingatkan.

''kita tutup dengan tasbih kifarah dan surah al-Asr...''

''..uhibbukum fillah.'' Med menamatkan kata2.

Daripada Abu Hurairah RA meriwayatkan bahawa Rasulullah SAW telah bersabda:
“Sesiapa yang duduk dalam satu majlis, dan melakukan banyak salah dan silap, maka sebelum dia meninggalkan majlis itu dia menyebut; " Subhanakallah humma wabihamdika Asyadu an la ilaha illa anta astaghfiruka waatubu illaik" melainkan diampunkan segala dosa yang telah dilakukan sepanjang dia berada dalam majlis itu”.

Plup. bunyi conference Skype diputuskan. orait, on to the next thing wahai aku. perut dah nyanyi lagu tiga kupang ni. takpe, solat dulu pastu baru fikir tak telan apa.

***

''Tank, ko dah siapkan reflective piece untuk first experience in DR*?''

''Nope,'' jawab Tank pendek.''ala..ada 2 hari lagi sebelum dateline. esok je la aku buat. ko nyer?''

''Dah upload.''

jari2 aku terus berlari atas keyboard membalas email dari tutor. lepas ni nak kena set up meeting dgn supervisor pulak. cuma, sebelum apa2 hal aku kena produce at least 5000 words lagi untuk introduction MD4002 aku. kalau tak, memang nahas la.

aku ingat, first six weeks aku terbuang tanpa hasil. salah aku. lalai. mudah lemah semangat. nak harap orang bagi pep-talk tiap2 kali jenuh la. kali ni aku nekad, 3-4 hari sleepless, belasah la...janji aku boleh appease Jackson. huhu.

''beb, aku nak landing jap. setengah jam lagi kejut ye?''

''okie dokie,'' Tank selamba. jangan dia buat2 lupa sudah. kalau tak burn aku nyer gym session kul 5 petang ni.

*DR - dissection room, tempat belah2 mayat. epic woo...

1#

2011-03-31T15:15:00.008+01:00

''assalamualaikum.''

takde jawapan. mamat ni jawab dalam hati kot. lantak la.

snickers Von Dutch biru cair dibuka, beg galas The North Face dicampak ke sudut katil.

''tak keluar ke malam ni?''

silent.

''malas ah. bukan budak2 ni ada pun. semua memerap dalam bilik, konon2 study.''

skrin laptop di meja ditegakkan, switch on button ditekan. sambil desktop perlahan-lahan loading suara parau dari AthanBasic mengalun bismillahi rahman nirrahim. ok, what's next big guy? check email dulu atau terus buka ECG Made Easy? tak pun layan habiburrahman nyer Bumi Cinta?

''Tank, ko ada buku best aku leh baca tak?''

''Nah, try this,'' Tank menghulur John Grisham's The Appeal.

''Hmm..'' aku fikir dua kali. tangan menongkat pipi sambil jari telunjuk mengetuk2 rawak.

''..belasah la. meh sini.''

malas nak layan Tank ni. sementara tunggu masuk waktu asar layan je la John Grisham ni, walaupun aku prefer Conan Doyle sebenarnya.

****

Cubaan pertama aku mencari diri. Expect nothing.

What's your X-factor?

One question still unanswered since late 2008. Oh kak how do I answer you?

2011-03-31T01:59:00.001+01:00

when life feels sugary and rose-tinted, thank Allah.

when your days are like hurricane running amuck, thank Allah, for you are still on His path.

life is not always rose-tinted

2011-03-30T13:14:00.000+01:00

we are in serious condition when our mind is filled with vanity.

2011-03-29T15:40:00.001+01:00

DOGMA DISCO

menjengah tahun 2012

Aku nak cuba

FIGHT CLUB

A piece

live in this world like a wayfarer, one of the thing we do is gain knowledge. make it blessed by Allah....

kapasiti diri

i'm here. surely.

I'm searching for home, in metaphorical sense

having a hard time

Golden Advice !

2 ramadhan#

Concept.Create.Dreamer

1 Ramadhan #

First special post ;) no buzzwords and blarney, not setting the world alight, just norm.

held back by respect and fear

amicable life spice

Something to share and please read it carefully

don't lose it

A new week

it's possible to leave facebook untouched for a year. i've seen it.

back to my old URL

sabar daripada marah

"The best way to get people to learn is turn them into teachers"

^_*

jolting my thoughts

An Epiphany

aku tak faham

[][[][[][][][][

^_^

gloom.vicious repertoire

%-]

:(

:_(

~~~time~

+_+

when you wake up from sleep

....

life is like a spinning coin

sigh**

marahkan kawan

Panic! At The Disco: The Overture

Suara Anak Felda

dont question this

st andrews isoc barbeque 2011

seusai tiga tahun

dah plan masa depan? mula sekarang, apa2 boleh jadi janji Allah wills it.

another rant

kuasa Tuhan

glean/glēn/Verb

kali ni bagi link je. yang rajin sila buka link ni. boleh ke aku buat post macam ni? ok what, elak plagiarism sebab rupanya byk blogger kepoh isu ni

31st to Newcastle. May Allah make this a blessed journey. .what's done is done. pray hard, play hard, work likewise..

it's ok if we're slow to be cautious. don't be slow cause we're a slowpoke inborn.

my rule, just once. no try for misdeeds.

headstrong

jumble heart

rindu bertali arus ni. bijakkan dirimu wahai aku

procrastination.habit.fruitlessness

Tipu.tertipu,belajar sila

Returning to Allah

dead beat. almost#

if it's not peachy

selam

....

Modesty & Shame

a little visit that give ambivalent emotion

© Dawud Wharnsby - The Beautiful Story of Yusuf

nak buang je kertas kecik ni...tapi...

politic.knowledge.interests

eternal happiness~~

QUIZZILLA.how high is my self esteem?

jahat ke baik. you choose

stories

problem.solve it.

Incomplete (Poetry Video)

what's my element?

flashback.rewind.looking back

blabbering. tak puas hati.

^_

snap.